"That story isn't going to unfuck itself."

- Chuck Wendig

If you click on that link, I suffer horribly from numbers 1, 2, 6, 8, 13, and 25. (I printed them out, FRAMED them, and hung them on the wall so I can see them right above the main screen on my laptop when I'm writing.)

Being aware of my problems, being inspired by the words of people who get it and have clearly outlined what I need to do (i.e. SIT DOWN AND WRITE) has still not helped with the actual writing lately.

Once again, I was stuck stuck stuck.

But then magic happened.

Em and I were both lamenting being in a funk and I think she was the one who suggested a write-a-thon. We planned it for tonight, even though she now lives TWO time zones away. At 6 p.m., I sat down, completely terrified because I didn't know what I was going to do. I've written three really brief scenes since November. That's it.

I opened my notebook, saw two words, and wrote a partial scene about those two words.

And then I spent almost three hours writing about an elephant and two girls who have pledged to not let each other get broken (or maybe just not MORE broken). I wrote about love and magic and empathy and psychic powers.

And it felt SO GOOD.

In the middle of it, Em sent me an email. She was talking about a Vlogbrothers video John Green made a short while ago and she said, "Well, if I made a video about what to do in life, I'd say 'Get a Tara.  Find a friend who shares your passion in life and HANG ON.  She'll be an amazing gift in your life.'"

The whole time I was reading this email, I had my left hand over my heart. It's just this thing I do when I am so totally moved by the words a person is sharing with me that all I can do is try to hold onto my heart and make sure it stays where it lives, because otherwise I think it might just float away. Or something. (I have no idea WHY I do it; I just do.)

Years ago, my mentor Suzanne said to me, "Writing is such a blessing to have in your life."

There are times when I think I completely and utterly suck -- at writing, at life, just generally and in an all-encompassing kind of way. But there are times when I write for three hours straight about things I have completely imagined and yet the words I put together made it real (at least for me -- and maybe, someday, for somebody else, too). There are times when I realize that there are these SMART, and INCREDIBLY TALENTED, and BEAUTIFUL people in my life who do AMAZING things with words (like Em, and like our friend Morgan) and without writing, I would never have met any of them. There are times when I realize how much of who I am and how I interact with the world has been shaped by the books I've read and someday I might just be able to do that for someone else.

Writing is more than a blessing. It's magic -- it is tenuous and fleeting and fickle and can only be seen in the right lighting at the right angles, but when it all comes together...there's absolutely nothing like it.